Several times a week we go walking by the pretty man-made lake right down the road from us. When we want more peace and quiet (read: only 3 people incessantly staring at us instead of 30), we follow the real river that runs behind the mountain on the other side of our apartment complex. But when we want entertainment, annoyances, or just pure perplexing circumstances, we head to the man-made lake (which is a very nice by the way) but has more people, more traffic, and waaaay more Chinglish! These photographs are of an apartment complex that's being developed across the road from the park. Every time I pass by, I have to stop, reread them, and have a good laugh before I can be on my way. Laughter is good for exercising right?

Ok keep in mind, this is an unbuilt apartment complex. The English interpretation of the name is England 18 Sales. Sorry the pictures are a little small...

Alcohol Goods life of England -- definitely a great sales pitch right there.

The occasion will be celebrity central fengling -- oh goody! Fengling --just what I always wanted! and celebrity central fengling at that!

Fengling get 800 acres near childrens park -- well this doesn't look anything like the park across the road but there will be Fengling so...

Oh, by the way, if anyone could please let me know what Fengling actually is, I will promise you up to half my kingdom and a frog that will turn into a prince. But the sign says there is a Fengling so there must be a Fengling...

Rachel -- 2nd of Sept. '09

Well, I'm holed up in bed with a bad back so might as well make the best of it by blogging hey?

Being stuck in the house is a bad day for me. It never seems to end. And being that this isn't my house, there's not countless little jobs to keep me busy. I sent all my scrapbooking home to Australia. I tend to get bored quickly. So this morning our friends came to visit us. A cute little newly married Chinese couple -- he works for World Vision as a project journalist and she teaches English at an English immersion school. We chatted about all sorts of things: how they met, photo documentation, how I could come read English stories to the kids at the school on Saturdays, and why does Jason have a Chinese name and I don't? They sort of got hung up on that last one and the wife took it upon herself to come up with a good name for me. I barely know these guys and I'm thinking to myself "what if I don't like it?!" cause so far I haven't liked any Chinese names people have suggested for me and the literal Chinese version of Rachel is way to hard for me to say.

Now let me preface this by saying that Chinese names are all about the meaning. They're very literal and if you are a foreigner choosing a Chinese name, people will tell you to your face what they really think about it. So its really important to pick a name with good meaning, good poetry and the correct number of syllables (no less than two, no more than three). If you are a foreigner, you can change your name any time you like obviously but really, you want to find a good solid name you can stick to for the rest of your life.

An obvious choice for Jason's name is Gāo which means 'tall standing' or 'high'. One of our Chinese friends suggested the name "Gāo Jiàn" (this is how it looks in Chinese: 高见) with the literal translation being "Tall vision". As soon as he tells people they can call him this, they are all amazed and tell him that he is a very wise man because the poetical translation is 'someone who can step back and see over problems' or something along those lines. Technically, he still doesn't have a last name but this is about his third try at a first name and seems to be going well.

Me, well, I guess I'm harder for people to come up with something for. I'm usually met with answers like, "let me think about it". So I was a little surprise today when my friend got excited about helping me find a name. And worried I'll admit -- I hate to hurt people's feelings if I don't like the suggestion. But she took my English name's meaning (lamb) and my birthday and favourite season (which happens to be Autumn) and used that to come up with this: Yáng Lì qīu 杨丽秋. So "Yáng" would be my last name, which means "lamb" and "Lì qīu" (which almost

sounds like how most Chinese people try to pronounce my English name anyway) means

"Beautiful Autumn". So it doesn't have the stately sounding meaning that Jason's does but that's

ok because the men tend to have names you must grow into and the women have the more

poetic, beautiful sounding names. So I've had a day to think about it and I think Yáng Lì qīu is

growing on me and I might just keep this one. I'll throw it out there for the people to criticize (I tell

you, one must grow a thick skin here) and see if I still feel the same way in about a weeks time!

高见 - Gāo Jiàn

(Jason's Chinese name. Meaning: Tall Vision)

杨丽秋 - Yáng Lì qīu

(Rachel's Chinese name. Meaning: Yáng (family name) = lamb

Lì qīu = Beautiful Autumn)

Rachel, 31/08/09

In a seemingly chaotic world, there is always one thing a girl can be sure will never change -- a qí páo and it's colours. Sure, the styles may come and go but this classic dress should be apart of every women's wardrobe. In fact you should treat yourself to various colours and designs so that you have a suitable qí páo for the various occasions you will most certainly be invited to over the course of your stay in China (ie. a wedding in Shanghai in September).

For example, a plain white qí páo is never good for anything. Basically, its a death wish on yourself or anyone else if you turn up to the party dressed like that. (Ok that's fine because I don't really look good in pale colours anyway and if I didn't even wear white to my own wedding then I most certainly don't intend...)

However gold is a wonderful colour for any occasion -- especially if you are a foreigner and have light coloured skin. It will bring you good luck and you can choose a type of fabric with many sequins to enhance your natural beauty. (Ah, no. I will not be wearing gold -- over my dead body. Well, that means that while I'm alive I won't be caught dead in that colour. Well, that means, oh forget it. NO GOLD. I was thinking red...)

Red is only for brides. (That's ok I'm sure my friend won't mind...ok, how about black then?)

Black?! I don't think so. Black is for the lady who stands in the corner. She is thinking "Ooh, I'm the sexy lady, I want to steal your husband." (So I can't have a black qí páo.)

No. (Ok...well...how about bright blue or bright pink? Maybe a turquoise?)

I think maybe a light pink. That would make you younger and more innocent. (I don't need to look younger and more innocent. What about something a little brighter...like turquoise?)

This bright blue will make you look like you are here to have fun and not be serious though. (And that's obviously a bad thing...)

Light blue however makes you look more formal. (ok, ok, is there possibly another colour I could look at with the exception of green???)

Do you like this purple? Purple is very elegant. You can wear this colour to many occasions. And it's my favourite colour. (At this point, I'm almost ready to say yes to anything...I had no idea choosing a fabric for a qí páo was going to be this difficult and have this many rules! Ok the purple is fine, lets just get the heck out of this place...) (I said it a lot nicer than that I promise.)

So I spent the next 8 days freaking out about this dress that was in a colour that I don't have in my wardrobe already cause I'm not really a pastelly type of person. Getting measured was a whole other story -- I about fell over backwards when I told the tailor I wanted it knee length and no halter neck and then the girl helping me choose (or choosing for me, whatever floats your boat) said (and I quote): "But why you want it so short? We need to make it short so you will be more sexy!" You're kidding me right? Then I might as well go back and get the !@#$ black fabric!!! But I bit my tongue...and this is the result:

Not too shabby, eh? Ok I know the shoes are probably a bit too dark but believe it or not I don't have a cupboard full off high heels so I guess I'll still have to remedy that one (my friend will be glad to take me shoe shopping and tell me all the rules about the shoes you should wear I'm sure). And the back-ground's not ideal but if you've ever been to our apartment, you'll know there's not much in the way of wall space (or any type of space for that matter)!

Oh and yeah, I can't put on a single bit of weight in, like, forever if I ever want to wear this thing again. Maybe, just maybe (with the help of Photoshop), I could be Chinese too, couldn't I?

Rachel - 18th of August, 2009

I suppose eight months into this blogging thing, I can still be considered relatively new to the project. Of course when we started out, everything was new and exciting -- new year, new country, new school, new language... Now we are in August. Its so stinking humid outside that the thought of 'exploring' has kind of lost its bling and now I find myself wondering, what shall I write about? I refuse to be (at least for now) one of those blogs that has only a few posts before it's abandoned, I'm not the type of person to make stuff up, and I don't want to lead you to believe that we have this exciting life where stuff happens all the time and we never know what we'll be doing next (although the latter statement is kind of true).

Truth is, we're now at the point where the fact that I finally found regular flour is enough to send me into euphoria at the thought of what we can eat now. Simply being able to hold a conversation for 5 minutes in straight Chinese, once again makes us feel like adults. I wouldn't say our life is mundane but there comes a time where seeing how little money we can spend in a week becomes a game seeing as though we're trying to stretch our savings as far as we can. While its not as bad as using less toilet paper so we can still run the air conditioner, we're still learning how to live and I'm afraid those things may be boring or miss-understood by some.

Most of our Chinese friends from school, have returned to their lǎojīa (home towns) for a last respite before school begins again and I guess the truth is I'm not so good at just relaxing and I HATE staying inside for a whole day. So my time at least is comprised of visiting the orphanage most mornings and trying to figure out how to lead a healthy, environmentally friendly and somewhat sane life in China. Although half the time I think the fact that we live in China means that there are a few screws loose therefore throwing sanity out of the window before we even moved here but everyone does that one thing that makes their families and friends shake their heads and hope that one day they'll come to their senses. Truth is, we're happy here. We're living the life we know we are meant to live at the point we are at. We walking this road so that we can stop and smell the roses along the way and make sure we don't step in the poop cause we're running to fast to watch were we're going. I suppose we're learning that we don't just want to live, but we want to live life well.

Being that I am an incredibly impatient person, I wish living life was somewhat like it is for Neo in the Matrix...you know, they just plug him in and download all that he needs to know. Bring on the danger and suspense! Did Neo ever have a quiet day? Did the new testament writers ever throw anything at the wall while they were in prison? Did Winnie the Pooh ever run out of optimistic, thoughtful thoughts? You can see I have issues with living a quiet life -- things that I need to get over in myself, obviously! Issues that maybe only China will bring out in our lives for the One that is greater than us to sort out.

Anyway, enough of the ramblings -- after being on mango withdrawal, we finally found some at the down town market this morning...oh me and my infatuation with markets -- I suppose somethings will never change...

Rachel -- 7th of August, 2009

"Eliza, you are to stay here for the next six months learning to speak beautifully, like a lady in a florist's shop. At the end of six months you will be taken to an embassy ball in a carriage, beautifully dressed. If the king finds out you are not a lady, you will be taken to the Tower of London, where your head will be cut off as a warning to other presumptuous flower girls! If you are not found out, you shall be given a present of... uh... seven and six to start life with in a lady's shop. If you refuse this offer, you will be the most ungrateful, wicked girl, and the angels will weep for you."

There I was, I suppose feeling much like Eliza did when Dr. Henry Higgins presented her with an opportunity seemingly to great to pass up. My friends called me to say a modeling company had approached her to model for them and asked if she knew any other foreign girls that might be available to model for some European themed party they were having to celebrate the opening of a new apartment complex. It was a paying job, but right from the get go, we were hassled and humiliated, told we were either too fat, face not pretty enough, etc and so forth. I just kept reminding myself it was only one night, we would get paid and then never have to do it again. Actually, my friends and I decided it would've been quite hilarious, except for the xiǎojīe (misstress) who was so bossy and tactless and thought that if anything didn't have more than 50 beads or 200 sequins, it didn't sparkle enough. Seriously though, the room with all the dresses was just like standing in the fancy dress section of an op shop (thrift store for the Americans) and it was as if I was 5 years old again, pretending I was a princess. So much taffeta, satin, thousands of sparkling sequins and fake diamonds! High heels, the most gaudiest jewelry you ever saw...a Disney princess's dream. Not mine however, and apparently I turned out to be the xiǎojīe's worst nightmare because during the performance, she called my friend 'fat' to her face one too many times and told me that while I have a good body, my face is really disappointing and I have horrible hair. And I didn't choose heels that were sexy enough. Well excuse me! Well, I modeled. I did the catwalk thing. Strutted my stuff -- it must be in the family. First Jason, now me! But I yelled at the lady. I haven't been that angry at someone in a long time. It then took me a day to track down my pay but needless to say the story ends with me most emphatically wishing to never EVER model again BUT...I live in China, I am 156 cm (5'2"), what other country offers someone so short a modeling contract anyway? This is China -- never say never...

Wow, that's a lot of photos of me for once!

And finally, my favourite quote from My Fair Lady:
There even are places where English completely disappears. In America, they haven't used it for years! - song Professor Henry Higgins

Rachel -- 3rd of August, 2009