Aow, wouldn't it be lovely!

"Eliza, you are to stay here for the next six months learning to speak beautifully, like a lady in a florist's shop. At the end of six months you will be taken to an embassy ball in a carriage, beautifully dressed. If the king finds out you are not a lady, you will be taken to the Tower of London, where your head will be cut off as a warning to other presumptuous flower girls! If you are not found out, you shall be given a present of... uh... seven and six to start life with in a lady's shop. If you refuse this offer, you will be the most ungrateful, wicked girl, and the angels will weep for you."

There I was, I suppose feeling much like Eliza did when Dr. Henry Higgins presented her with an opportunity seemingly to great to pass up. My friends called me to say a modeling company had approached her to model for them and asked if she knew any other foreign girls that might be available to model for some European themed party they were having to celebrate the opening of a new apartment complex. It was a paying job, but right from the get go, we were hassled and humiliated, told we were either too fat, face not pretty enough, etc and so forth. I just kept reminding myself it was only one night, we would get paid and then never have to do it again. Actually, my friends and I decided it would've been quite hilarious, except for the xiǎojīe (misstress) who was so bossy and tactless and thought that if anything didn't have more than 50 beads or 200 sequins, it didn't sparkle enough. Seriously though, the room with all the dresses was just like standing in the fancy dress section of an op shop (thrift store for the Americans) and it was as if I was 5 years old again, pretending I was a princess. So much taffeta, satin, thousands of sparkling sequins and fake diamonds! High heels, the most gaudiest jewelry you ever saw...a Disney princess's dream. Not mine however, and apparently I turned out to be the xiǎojīe's worst nightmare because during the performance, she called my friend 'fat' to her face one too many times and told me that while I have a good body, my face is really disappointing and I have horrible hair. And I didn't choose heels that were sexy enough. Well excuse me! Well, I modeled. I did the catwalk thing. Strutted my stuff -- it must be in the family. First Jason, now me! But I yelled at the lady. I haven't been that angry at someone in a long time. It then took me a day to track down my pay but needless to say the story ends with me most emphatically wishing to never EVER model again BUT...I live in China, I am 156 cm (5'2"), what other country offers someone so short a modeling contract anyway? This is China -- never say never...

Wow, that's a lot of photos of me for once!

And finally, my favourite quote from My Fair Lady:
There even are places where English completely disappears. In America, they haven't used it for years! - song Professor Henry Higgins

Rachel -- 3rd of August, 2009