(NB. This was supposed to go up a few days ago...apparently to further illustrate the point of this post, I clicked only the 'save now' option instead of the 'publish' option)
| 1. | placenta brain |
Confusion and short term memory loss that happens during pregnancy.
"Hey placenta brain, what's the soap doing in the fridge?"
"My wife is such a placenta brain. Yesterday I caught her eating chalk. She said she needed the calcium."
"I gave a presentation to a group of women when I was pregnant. And I forgot my name! Must be the pregnancy brain."
"My wife is such a placenta brain. Yesterday I caught her eating chalk. She said she needed the calcium."
"I gave a presentation to a group of women when I was pregnant. And I forgot my name! Must be the pregnancy brain."
Acronym for Dumbness Induced by Pregnancy Syndrome. A state of forgetfulness, confusion and mental retardation commonly experienced during pregnancy. Other symptoms can include but aren't limitied to - clumsiness, memory loss and difficulty in retaining information or learning new things
"I've got such a hardcore case of D.I.P.S., I tried to unlock somebody else's car in the parking lot."
Pregnancy Brain, Placenta Brain, D.I.P.S...whatever it is you want to call it (and really does anyone know what "it" actually is?), apparently I have it bad. Not all the time. It seems to come and go in waves. Much like my experience with the nausea. It's like having a brain most of the time but then when its gone, it's gone. And there's not really any telling when it will be back.
Insert sympathetic looks from other women: Honey, it only gets worse from here.
So it's Jason's birthday this coming Monday. A little over a week ago, as I was replenishing my stock of dry crackers (still necessary for bus rides of over half an hour), when I glanced up a shelf and saw the peanut butter Oreo cookies (biscuits but since they're American, I'll refer to them as cookies from now on). Now the man can prove to you that man does not live by bread alone...but peanut butter and bread is possible...at least before he was married it seemed possible. Oreos are a childhood favourite of Jason's and since we never eat them, peanut butter is one of his most favourite things, and lastly since his birthday was coming up and I wasn't sure when I'd be back to this store or even if I'd remember again before his birthday arrived, I decided to go ahead and buy the Oreos and hide them in my bedside draw while I thought of it. So I did. And promptly forgot about them.
Fast forward a few days till last Sunday. It really wasn't a long time. I'm pretty sure I only bought the Oreos Wednesday, last week after I went to the gym. At least I think that was the last time I subjected myself to that sauna, but I digress. Back to Sunday. Jason decided to ride his bike to our friend's house which left me to take the hour bus ride by myself. So naturally, I wanted to listen to the ipod but do you think I could find either of my two pairs of headphones anywhere? In the midst of turning the house upside down, Jason walks into the room while I'm emptying the contents of my bedside table on the floor, holding the oreos in one hand, rummaging through everything else with the other.
"Have you seen my headphones anywhere?"
"Are those Oreos?"
"Um, what? Oh..."
The sad thing is, I actually sat there thinking to myself why are there Oreos in my bedside table? Of course it took me few seconds to remember at which point I was so mad at myself for ruining my extremely organised surprise. Then I was shocked for not even having any clue as to why I had Oreos in my possession. Finally I was extremely embarrassed because I knew at that point I must have looked like some Oreo bingeing pregnant woman with a serious case of denial...my only saving grace being that they were peanut butter flavour and I haven't been able to eat peanuts or peanut butter since I've been pregnant.
Well, Jason just thinks this is hilarious and sweetly assured me he would 'forget' about it till his birthday anyway. Which is ridiculous because I know it's not true. It completely messed up my day. "It" being...well, I'm not sure which I was more upset about -- the surprise I messed up or the total absence of my sound mind. I let you know when I remember...
And I still don't know where my headphones are. They're not in the fridge. I already looked. Twice.
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